Wyzga On Words

Q&A Tuesday: How Does Storytelling Help Me As Well As My Client?

Q:    How does storytelling help me as well as my client?

A:    Stories are the stuff of daily life.  When we commit to becoming part and parcel of the story we need to tell on behalf of another, the commitment expands our awareness of our humanity.  From this place we become increasingly empathetic, compassionate, and relatable to other human beings, more authentic, believable and better at persuading, too.

Some years back I wrote an article with San Diego attorney Jim Parziale entitled, "Once Upon A Client - The Power of Persuasive Legal Storytelling."  [Click on the title to access the pdf.]  It's a treasure trove of information, thoughts and ideas gained over decades of my storytelling work which became translated into the litigation arena.  I bet you will recognize in these words much of what I have been speaking, teaching and writing about for almost 15 years.

I trust that this work will be of help to you and your clients.  If you intend to use it, please remember the integrity of attribution.

Billy Wilder Knew How To Look Through A Lens To Get The Story.

 

Billy Wilder abandoned the idea of becoming a lawyer for the life of a reporter on a Viennese newspaper. He eventually came to this country in the 1930s and broke into American films creating some of Hollywood's classic and Oscar winning works as a screenwriter, director and producer.

He once gave the order, "Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award."

A few trademarks: His movies frequently started with narration.  His films feature a sharp wit and characters who frequently try to change their identity, as well as dangerous and manipulative women.

Billy Wilder, who said, "An actor entering through the door, you've got nothing. But if he enters through the window, you've got a situation." left a legacy for filmmakers and storytellers alike:  You gotta have a plot.  If you don't got a plot how you gonna make the story come to life? 

TIP:    The plot of your story goes like this:  Who * Did What * To Whom * Under What Circumstances (remember what I wrote about context on Q&A Tuesday?) * Toward What Ends * and, With What Means.

TIP:     Lay out the pieces and listen to how it sounds.

TIP:     If the situation doesn't ring true for you, do it over.

Advice To Graduates: Life Will Be Hard; Make Mistakes; Fix The World; Be True To Yourself; And So On.

Elliott Richardson gave the commencement address to my college graduating class.  I don't remember what he said so much as what he had done: as attorney general he stood up to then-President Richard M. Nixon and refused to fire the Special Prosecutor investigating Watergate.  His moral stand and subsequent resignation hearkens back to a much earlier time, one that Maureen Dowd longs for in her editorial, "Moral Dystopia."  Excerpt.

"EVERYONE is good, until we’re tested.

We hope we would be Sir Thomas More in “A Man for All Seasons,” who dismisses his daughter’s pleas to compromise his ideals and save his life, saying: “When a man takes an oath, Meg, he’s holding his own self in his own hands. Like water. And if he opens his fingers then, he needn’t hope to find himself again.”

But with formerly hallowed institutions and icons sinking into a moral dystopia all around us, has our sense of right and wrong grown more malleable? What if we’re not Thomas More but Mike McQueary?"

Richardson was tested.  His actions are his legacy.

It would be too easy to say that in the years since I stood alone and applauded Richardson's address I became a lawyer and stood up to wrongdoers to model his role.  My mother would just tell you that I was always a head-strong independent soul rooting for the underdog while marching to a distant drummer.

What I do want to know is what today's graduates will take from the plethora of commencement speeches given by the notables and quotables whose earnest, funny, somber and encouraging words come to us in snippets in todays NYTimes, "Familiar Faces Offering Advice, Idealism and Humor."  Excerpt.

"But uplift and idealism still ruled. Graduates were exhorted to do great things, look out for others and maybe, just maybe, put aside their electronic devices for a few minutes. The nearest to universal advice was that graduates should chase what they love, and heal what ails humanity."

Here are a few of my favorites:

NEIL GAIMAN, AUTHOR

University of the Arts

“Nothing I did where the only reason for doing it was the money was ever worth it, except as bitter experience. Usually I didn’t wind up getting the money, either.” “Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do: make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. I.R.S. on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil, or it’s all been done before? Make good art.”

LAWRENCE LESSIG, LEGAL SCHOLAR

John Marshall Law School in Atlanta

“There is no one in the criminal justice system who believes that system works well. There is no one in housing law who believes this is what law was meant to be. ... The law of real people doesn’t work, even if the law of corporations does. ... The law has convinced most Americans that the law is for the rich, except that part of the law that involves the prisons. We, all of us, have a duty to fix this. To repair this. To make it better.”

CORY A. BOOKER, MAYOR OF NEWARK

Bard College

“Go out there and swear to this world your oath, not with your words, but with what you do. Not with your hand over your heart, but with your hand outstretched to a world that desperately needs your hand, your help, your insights, your creativity, your honor, your courage. It needs you.”  “My dad would always tease me: ‘Boy, don’t you walk around here like you hit a triple. You were born on third base, boy.’ ... I drink deeply from wells of freedom and liberty that I did not dig. I eat lavishly from banquet tables prepared for me by my ancestors. I sit under the shade of trees that were planted and cultivated and cared for by those who I will never know.”

AARON SORKIN, WRITER AND PRODUCER

Syracuse University

“To get where you’re going, you have to be good, and to be good where you’re going, you have to be damned good. Every once in a while, you’ll succeed. Most of the time you’ll fail, and most of the time the circumstances will be well beyond your control.”  “You’re too good for schadenfreude, you’re too good for gossip and snark, you’re too good for intolerance — and since you’re walking into the middle of a presidential election, it’s worth mentioning that you’re too good to think people who disagree with you are your enemy.”

To those of you setting out, every good wish for health, prosperity and joy.  For those of us still on the road take a moment to thank and learn from the ones on our (aging) heels.

Murphy's Laws Of Songwriting Can Apply To Lawyers.

Clearly at the top of the Hit Parade of Programs at the recent American Society of Trial Consultants' Annual Conference in New Orleans was the presentation delivered by trial lawyer and songwriter, E. Thomas McCarthy: What Lawyers Can Learn From Songwriters.

Among many points McCarthy made in his jam-packed 60 minute program, this one remains with me: if a songwriter can tell a story from start to finish - with a repeating chorus or refrain - in three minutes, how can a trial attorney do the same with her case story?  Perhaps three minutes is a bit truncated for an opening statement, but the appeal of brevity is a practical and formidable tip lawyers can use to ratchet down their case story to its clear, concise and cogently memorable points.

TIP:    One storytelling exercise I use with my clients is to practice telling their case as a 45-30-15 second story.  Believe it or not, you can tell your story in seconds.  The exercise proves when you know the true case story well.

TIP:    McCarthy suggested we pick up a copy of Murphy’s Laws of Songwriting by Ralph Murphy.  "In easy to grasp terms, Ralph talks about helping arm the songwriter for success by demystifying the process and opening the door to serious professional songwriting." You can listen to the entire Nashville Public Televisions program with Murphy as the featured guest by clicking here: http://wnpt.org/productions/wow/podcast/4006_RalphMurphy.mp3

TIP:     Click here to read Murphy's Law of Songwriting to learn from the master how to take the music of your spoken word from drab to dynamite.  If you can do that, then as McCarthy would say, "You hooked it!" 

 

 

 

Q&A Tuesday: A Technique For The Client To Create Their Own Confidence.

Q:    How do you give a client confidence before testifying?

A:     You don't.  A client must create it for herself.

As a litigation and communications consultant I am often involved in helping prepare people to testify.  I find that the process is like being part of an archaeological dig with the client to discover that particular truth or icon she will adopt for herself to become grounded in confident, authentic testimony.

I always ask the client +to recall childhood stories with a good character and an evil one. There is a certainty - an "Ah Ha! moment - when the client uncovers the precise character and steps into the persona of the good or heroic one.

Next I ask the client to draw a picture of that heroic character for their eyes only.  I don't want to see it. I am satisfied knowing that the client has aligned herself with a character she chose to create the confidence she needs to testify with clear, concise and cogent authenticity.

TIP:     As my friend Ed says, "When we ask for courage we are given opportunities to be brave."  Our job is to help the client discover those opportunities which she will use to create her own confidence.

13 Minutes With Bill Harley - Storyteller - TEDx: Stories Out Loud.

Back in the day I fell in love with the storyteller Bill Harley.  But then so did many many many folks: storytellers and listeners alike.  We knew so many of his stories and song by heart.  Bill made us happy and nostalgic and giddy and wistful at the same time.

Over the decades, articles, blog posts, and presentations to thousands of lawyers, I've said the same things about the importance and power of story:

1. To make your story emotionally meaningful to the listener, you must marry content (facts) to context (circumstance).
2. We are wired to hear narrative, to sort matters out - even legal matters - in narrative.
3. Narrative is how we figure out the ways to carry on despite the problems in our lives.

TIP:    Click here to take 13 minutes to listen to Bill Harley in his recent TEDx talk on the power that stories have which no media, no social network, no list of facs (or factoids), no computer can match.

A few highlights:

TIP:    We are creatures of context.  Context gives order: what happened before and what came after.  Order gives meaning.

TIP:    Stories are how we assign meaning to our lives, and the lives of others.

TIP:    The stories we create are how we answer the riddle of the problem so we can carry it through our life without it dragging us down.

TIP:    We are not built to remember lists of facts - we are wired to recall narrative.

TIP:    Stories work because they are cognitive & emotional: safe to think about because it’s not about us: we take the story & apply it to us & take us & apply to the story.

TIP:    Know when to speed up & slow down.  Know which visual underscores the narrative.

TIP:    Rely on this: we are genetically encoded to pay attention to the person in front of us. 

AND, if the one in front of us is you, the storyteller, imagine what you can do with the power of story.

 

 

Draw To Reveal The Story.

Who here doodles?

When we draw we are using a basic visual tool to help make sense of complex concepts, thoughts or ideas.  Drawing can help clarify and articulate our visions to ourselves as well as others in a conversation, presentation, meeting or trial.

I often use Post-It flip charts and Magic Markers when working with clients or audiences.  Drawing provides insight and problem-solving in a myriad of ways that mere conversation or brainstorming simply cannot accomplish as effectively.

Perhaps it's true that seeing is believing.

To see for yourself, visit Legal Sketchpad:

"BUSINESS SKETCHING FOR LEGAL CONFERENCES, STRATEGIC PLANNING MEETINGS AND TRAINING.

Legal Sketchpad promotes the use of basic visual tools in legal communication. As direct as possible, as low tech as possible."

I have no dog in this fight.  I am just pleased to help spread the word that PowerPoint is not the only game in town. 

TIP:    Fall back on what came naturally to you when a box of Crayola 64 helped unleash your imagination and creativity.

What Do I Mean When I Say "Power, Passion & Precision"?

 

Power.

            Passion.

                            Precision.

For decades now I have repeated my "3P Mantra" when speaking and teaching communication skills, story skills, and platform skills.  I use the "3P Mantra" on my office voice mail.

Power means coaching yourself to practice like you play.  The team plays to win.  The team practices to win.  You play to win - so practice like you play - with power.   A coach at my gym was training a member to get ready for her first tri-athlon.  It was the coach who kept reminding the trainee that she was getting ready for a race, a competition, to beat other people - not just taking a bike ride or a swim.  She took the advice and came in 4th in her class.

Passion means having life.  Does your case story come alive?  Or are you putting lipstick on a corpse?  Do you have a sense of affection for your work, for your client, for this case?  When my clients express exhaustion I always ask them, "For what do you have affection?  How do we marshall that for the task at hand?"

Precision means that state of being exact.  To be exact you must consider all the ways to get it right. To get it right you must develop the right story, right facts, right issues, right language, and right mindset. It can't be wrong when it's right.

Power.

            Passion.

                            Precision.

How Is Live Opera Like Storytelling? Those On Stage & We In The Seats Hear 'BRAVO!'

The Theater!  The Theater!  How I love the Theater!

Story comes alive on the stage.  In its own way, story comes to life on the silver screen.  Both stage and screen are art forms.  But one relies on the audience participation and the other is impervious to it.  

Zachary Woolfe writing for the NYTimes, "The Screen Can't Hear You Yell 'Bravo'," laments a recent trend whereby folks attend a televised broadcast of a live opera while seated in a movie theater.  Excerpt.

"In last week’s Arts & Leisure section I wrote about how watching opera in cinematic close-up, with Dolby surround sound, changes the performance in ways large and small. But the most distorted and distorting part of the HD experience comes at the times when a live audience repays a brave performance with enthusiastic applause.

Without fail, some watching the broadcasts shout “bravo” with gusto. But most of the audience doesn’t quite know what to do, caught between the intensity opera elicits and the sobering realization that, well, they are in a movie theater, perhaps thousands of miles from what they want to cheer and even farther from the relationship live performance engenders.

For all the praise HD deserves, and it deserves a great deal, this disconnect is damning. What the audience in a movie theater experiences is not just the opposite of opera. It is the undoing of opera, an art form in which a present, active audience is fundamental.

“Operas in general,” the critic Marcel Prawy wrote, “can only be properly enjoyed when audience, orchestra and stage form a compact community.” Its history is a history of being there: of applause and booing and rapt silence, the symbiosis between performers and audience. An image, in high definition, 3-D or any other permutation, creates only the illusion of intimacy. It is a cooler, more detached art form."

So, too this "compact community" of teller, story, and story listener is what creates the storytelling experience.  Think of a story like a living organism - like wine, perhaps.  As I have taught for years, the teller brings the listener along in a virtual journey so the listener is actually participating in the life of the story.

The same is true when you are arguing your case, giving a presentation or lecture.  You are collaborating with the listener or decision-maker.  The outcome is determined by members of that "compact community." 

TIP:     To better assure your chances of getting the outcome, verdict or decision you desire, know your "compact community," address your story to their concerns, and invite them on the virtual journey to collaborate and resolve problems along with you.

 

 

Anne Lamott Has Words For Writers & Lawyers.

I am a card-carrying member of the Anne Lamott fan club.

No question about it.

I have been insanely intimate with her books: Traveling Mercies, Bird By Bird, Plan B, and Rosie, among others.  The margins are filled with notes, the words are underlined and re-underlined.  I, like so many others, are convinced that Lamott wrote a particular book just for the reader. 

Something Lamott said rings true for all writers, and especially for lawyers who write their opening statement or closing argument but so rarely read what they've written aloud.  There's a big difference hearing with the ear:

"Nothing can break the mood of a piece of writing like bad dialogue. My students are miserable when they are reading an otherwise terrific story to the class and then hit a patch of dialogue that is so purple and expositional that it reads like something from a childhood play by the Gabor sisters. ... I can see the surprise on my students' faces, because the dialogue looked okay on paper, yet now it sounds as if it were poorly translated from their native Hindi."

TIP:     Any time you have something to say aloud, speak out loud what you've written to hear how it sounds before you have to stand and deliver your words to the decision-maker or listener.