Wyzga On Words

A Plethora Of Story Influences.

I am delighted to have been invited to join Kathy Hansen's blog, A Storied Career!

Just in case you missed us, over the next several days I'll be re-posting the interview she conducted with me and began publishing on April 9th.

Click here for Question #5.

 

"Capital Punishment Is Little More Than Revenge."

Mikhail Khodorkovsky writing for the Sunday NYTimes, "Notes From a Russion Penal Colony," relates a story about how one prisoner "refused to cut a deal with his conscience" and thereby helped Khodorkovsky, himself a prisoner in Penal Colony No. 7, Segezha, Russia.

Why is this story important to me?  Because of something a mother told me yesterday.  Apparently, her son is caught between dating two women - but only one does he really care for.  The mother told the son that it was not fair to the other girl and he should break it off if there was no future.  The father told the son, "Everyone dates around with multiple partners - no reason you should be different." 

To whom does the son listen?  That's not for me to say.  I can tell that there might be an answer in Khodorkovsky's essay:

"To cut a deal with one’s conscience — to lie, keep quiet, “not notice,” hiding behind the claim that it’s “for my family.” To convince oneself that “such are the times,” or that “everyone does it.” Who are we really dealing with? How do we find out that the other party — the conscience — refuses to deal? When we find ourselves face to face with disaster? Or later, when we are tallying up our life and become painfully aware that there’s no more dodging the raindrops, that there remain only memories? But by then you can’t change anything."

Along a similar theme - one's conscience - is a movie I watched the other night, Pierrepoint, The Last Hang Man. 

The movie is disturbing in subject matter but made all the more so by the plodding, methodical unfolding of the story.  It mimicks the methodical technique of the executioner.  After watching a few executions the viewer could become almost inured to death by hanging.  I still blinked when the rope snapped.  What saves the story is the hangman's role: he believes what he does is sacred work.  To him, the criminals have "paid the price" with death - the slate is wiped clean.  And he has a hand in that.  This is the power of the story whether or not you agree with his posture, or believe he is hiding behind an artfully crafted excuse to murder.

Who was Albert Pierrpoint?  He was a grocery delivery man whose father was an executioner for England.  Pierrepoint feels a calling to not only follow in his father's footsteps but to become the most efficient executioner England has witnessed.  He realizes that aim only to be reversed in his convictions about the benefits of capital punishment by one of his last hangings.  After 608 executions in 20 years, Pierrepoint writes, "Capital punishment is little more than revenge."

"'If death were a deterrent,' he wrote, 'I might be expected to know. It is I who have faced them at the last, young lads and girls, working men, grandmothers. I have been amazed to see the courage with which they take that walk into the unknown.

'It did not deter them then, and it had not deterred them when they committed what they were convicted for. All the men and women whom I have faced at that final moment convince me that in what I have done I have not prevented a single murder.'"

Q&A Tuesday: What Makes My Character Or Client Believable?

Q:    What makes my character (or client) believable?

A:    For starters, no one is either all good or all evil. You need a bit of both.

The mistake many folks make when they create a character (or prepare a client for deposition or trial) is they want to err on the side of "my guy is all good and the other guy is all bad."  This sounds like something one would hear in divorce counseling. The truth is, even Darth Vadar and Lucifer started out on the bright side.

Generally speaking we like people like us.  Whether we are conscious of it or not, we relate to characteristics in others which are like those in  people familiar to us. These sense impressions inform the attitudes we have about people - before we even know them. 

In a real world setting like a trial, we want to know if the client comes across in a positive way - or do they turn off the members of the focus group.  What about the client is not believable?  And can this thing be truthfully and accurately corrected so the client is compelling and convincing? 

That does not mean we erase the flaws.  Not at all.  In fact, the case may require the lawyer to embrace the flaws while showing that the event had nothing to do with the flaws.  In the alternative, the flaws may be presented as having some part to play in the event but to a much lesser degree than that of the opposition. 

The key is to steer clear of generalities and stereotypes when preparing your client.  And remember you can't put lipstick on a pig.  Well, you can - but what are you left with? 

 

In the fictional world the same notion applies.  What makes characters endearing is that they have recognizable flaws and virtues.  We may recognize the flaws as belonging to someone else we know - not us.  But we recognize them just the same.  Give us a bit of both angelic and misbehavin'.

I was thinking of this concept while watching re-runs of The Big C, a TV series starring Laura Linney and Oliver Platt.   Linney's character has been diagnosed with cancer and she's trying to have the time of her life while there is life. Platt's character is her self-absorbed husband. But as you allow the characters to develop you come to realize that Linney's character is not all grace and sunshine.  She has a pretty selfish streak.  And Platt's character has a deeply feeling side you would not easily suspect in the beginning.

TIP: Create your characters or develop your client like the well-rounded human beings they are taking advantage of flaws and virtues as befits the situation.

 

 

 

Tell Me About Unity & Strength.

THE BUNDLE OF STICKS

A CERTAIN Father had a family of Sons, who were forever quarreling among themselves. No words he could say did the least good, so he cast about in his mind for some very striking example that should make them see that discord would lead them to misfortune.

One day when the quarreling had been much more violent than usual and each of the Sons was moping in a surly manner, he asked one of them to bring him a bundle of sticks. Then handing the bundle to each of his Sons in turn he told them to try to break it. But although each one tried his best, none was able to do so.

The Father then untied the bundle and gave the sticks to his Sons to break one by one. This they did very easily.

"My Sons," said the Father, "do you not see how certain it is that if you agree with each other and help each other, it will be impossible for your enemies to injure you? But if you are divided among yourselves, you will be no stronger than a single stick in that bundle."

In unity is strength.

TIP:    

1. Some days you have to go back to the basics to "get it."
2. Nothing is more basic than a story.
3. For each problem there is always one elegant solution; often you will find it in a story.

 

Listen To The Decision-Maker. Don't Just Look At Them.

                        

A few weeks back I was in a courtroom helping the trial team select a panel of jurors to hear a three week trial.

We had a weekend to sort through the venire panel's answers to a 65-question supplemental juror questionnaire (SJQ).  We made preliminary decisions based on the written responses.  We thought we knew something of the members of the venire panel.  Armed with their responses we planned our follow up in court.

One woman in particular was intriguing.  Her responses read well on the SJQ.  She answered appropriately.  She appeared favorable to our side.  But there was something about her expression that was unsettling. 

This woman smiled constantly.  She smiled in the jury box. She smiled when she was excused from the courtroom.  She smiled when she talked with fellow panelists.  She smiled when she responded to the attorneys' questions. 

It was too much smiling; it was misleading, disingenuous smiling. And it was a clue.

Despite having previously agreed to let the distraught and grieving parents attend key portions of the trial, this woman later demanded a hearing with the judge to tell him in no uncertain terms that she resented (yes, resented!) having to sit through day after day of an emotionally difficult trial when the same demand was not made on the grieving parents of the dead child. 

What does one thing have to do with another?

In a recent study reported in Scientific American, How Emotions Jump From Face to Face, researchers found that:

"Across two studies, lead author Rebecca Neel and her colleagues found that male faces were more likely to grab anger from the face next to them, and female faces were more likely to grab happiness. Interestingly, this was not just a matter of people seeing male faces as more angry and female faces as more happy (an effect shown in several previous studies): the errors were most common when the emotion came from the adjacent face.

While this grabbing seems like an automatic process of visual perception, it can be influenced by biases we hold about the social world. Expectations shape perceptions (and misperceptions).  Since we tend to assume men are more aggressive and women are more nurturing, we’re more likely to see men as angry and women as happy. Snap judgments happen easily as we scan our environments looking for social cues. It may seem a serious design flaw in a diverse modern society, but our brains have evolved to make constant and routine approach-avoid assessments called ‘affordance management’ decisions. At the creature level, we’re trying to minimize risk and maximize opportunity. It’s more costly to miss cues of impending danger than it is to mistakenly assume that someone is threatening, so we err on the side of caution. Men have historically posed a greater physical threat than women, so the angry face is suddenly male. Females are seen as posing little threat and ample opportunity for connection, so our brains maximize opportunity by assuming a woman is friendly and eager to interact (or take care of us) even when she isn’t."  [Emphasis added.]

This potential juror had it written all over her: I can pose a threat.

TIP:    

Do not mistakenly assume that the friendlies are the ones with the smiling faces. 

Do not mistakenly assume that the enemies are the ones with the angry faces.

Listen to voir dire with the whole body, and pay attention to what you know about people.

EMPATHY.

As I slowed to a stop behind it I could see the word plain as day on the California license plate hanging from the rear of the dark blue full-size Buick: EMPATHY.

I noted the word EMPATHY while I sat behind the Buick waiting for the signal light to turn from red to green.

Again I noted the word EMPATHY while I impatiently waited for the driver of the Buick to put his foot to the gas pedal and move his car after the light had turned from red to green.

Yet again I noted the word EMPATHY as I pried my sticky fingers away from my horn and watched as the driver bent his head to someone seated low in the front passenger seat.  From what I could see the driver was frail, elderly with a halo of wispy white hair and slender fingers clutching the wheel that his head barely topped.

Finally the Buick moved into traffic, drifting over the divider line before hesitating and then choosing a left-hand turn for which no signal was employed.

Fortunately, we were down in the harbor where the speed limit is a mere 25 miles per hour.

Near the breakwater the Buick carefully turned left again while I turned right.

As I deftly pulled into a parking spot, unbuckled my seat belt with a quick tap, easily swung my legs out of the car, stood steadily before pivoting to close the door, then zipping up my jacket and heading off on my walk at a brisk pace, the word followed me: EMPATHY.

 

 

 

Glamorous Movie Star + Weapons Systems + Cultural Story Themes Of Bias Against The Beautiful.

My father used to wax nostalgic about the glamorous Hollywood actress, Hedy Lamarr.  And no wonder!

Who knew that behind all the glamour was a brain?  And imagination? 

When Lamarr put those skills to work she invented and patented weapons systems that were a precursor to today's "smart bombs" as well as technology for cell phones, the Bluetooth and GPS. 

Could she sell it?  Not a chance.  The problem was that the men in charge could not be persuaded beyond her beauty.  And Lamarr assumed that the men in charge would overlook her looks and bank on her brains. 

Bias against the beautiful.  Then as now you have to prove yourself twice as much.

Lamarr got nowhere until at the age of 82 when she was awarded the Pioneer Award by the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

Click here to read John Adams' review of Hedy's Folly: The Life and Breakthrough Inventions of Hedy Lamarr, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World in his NYTimes Book Review article, "Brainy Beauty."

Here's the best part that resonates with this storyteller:

"Behind the uniqueness of this story lie deeper themes that Rhodes touches upon: the gender biases against beautiful and intelligent women, the delicate interpersonal politics of scientific collaboration and, perhaps most important of all, the never-ending, implacable conflict between art and Mammon in American culture."

Bias against the beautiful.  Then as now you have to prove yourself twice as much.

Hello, Bob Kanegis. I Stand Corrected.

Even as the eldest of 7 children I got my share of being over-ruled; but not that often.

Today stands as one of those times.  True, my normally optimistic Aquarian personality and my Buddhist practice of "Fall down 7 - Get up 8" is being strained by episodes of the world's unspeakable beastliness.  True, as Bob Kanegis reminded me: we are beasts and we are angels.   True, the world needs music, light, poetry, compassion, mercy, forgiveness and empathy. 

Let's start here with a moment of smiling really big smiles.  When we smile for ourselves and wish for ourselves to know happiness and the root of happiness, others feel the wish as well. 

Sure it's schmaltzy.  But I'm a sucker for any chance to get up and dance and be a little happier.

Has The World Gone Completely, Undeniably, Unspeakably Mad?

We begin Remembering Pearl Harbor.

December 7, 1941: "A date which will live in infamy." 

70 years later I walk to the end of my driveway.  I bend over to pick up the morning paper.  Standing in the light of this cold clear morning tears run down my cheeks: I hear myself saying, "For God's sake, they are children and babies."  Bombs kills scores of worshippers.

Has the world gone completely, undeniably, unspeakably mad?

An Act Of Courage And Empathy: Telling Your Story.

Let's begin with a quote I have adopted for my own:  "There is no greater burden than carrying an untold story."  Zora Neale Hurston.

When have you made a gift of your story to another and felt a little less burdened for the telling?  There's a reason for it.

There are three essential and integral elements to storytelling: the story to be told, the teller, and the listener.  Think of the partnership like interlocked circles.  Without any one of these three elements you would not have storytelling. 

One of the gifts of storytelling - if we allow it - is empathy.  The story as shared has the power to connect the teller and listener (whether one or many) in ways that supersede words alone.  I am fond of an instruction attributed to the master storyteller and Hassidic Rabbi Yisroel (Israel) ben Eliezer, often called the Baal Shem Tov: "Whenever you hear a story, whether sitting alone or in company with others, raise your eyes and and ask God, 'Why have you sent this story to me at this time?'"

I ask myself the same question having received a link that connected me to a teacher in Japan teaching his 10-year-old students the power of storytelling to break apart secrets and create empathy.  Click here to engage the short video.  As a caveat, I have no investment whatsoever in  The Inner Year or Lynn Jerico's work; however, I do plainly welcome all sources of storytelling as human communication and relationship.

We are, after all, "homo narrans."