The Troubles began on October 26th.
Within 24 hours I would have to put Barney to sleep. I've written about Barney, his diagnosis of feline chylothorax and the celebration of each week of life we had thereafter. Barney made it to 91 weeks and then his 6 year old body gave out.
I still have The Feline Four (minus one) and Barney is with us. Barney-in-a-box on the kitchen counter.
After that was Hurricane Sandy, rescuing a father, arranging for elder care, trying a case that was a tough, uphill battle in need of courage and brave souls, and then when it all seemed to be able to finally settle into some semblance of Christmas, the Connecticut Massacre of the Innocents/Innocence.
It is true: right now I have no words. What I can do is sit and look out at the grey churning sea as rain splatters the windows, feel the cold salt wind, wonder how the honeybees are faring in their hive boxes I've not yet readied for winter.
Some might call it an escape. Daydreaming is an escape, right? I believe I am just being mindful of other times, other worlds, other days.
Maria Konnikova writing for the NYTimes, The Power of Concentration, reinforces this notion for me, as follows:
"Though the concept originates in ancient Buddhist, Hindu and Chinese
traditions, when it comes to experimental psychology, mindfulness is
less about spirituality and more about concentration: the ability to
quiet your mind, focus your attention on the present, and dismiss any
distractions that come your way. The formulation dates from the work of
the psychologist Ellen Langer, who demonstrated in the 1970s that
mindful thought could lead to improvements on measures of cognitive
function and even vital functions in older adults.
Now we’re learning that the benefits may reach further still, and be
more attainable, than Professor Langer could have then imagined. Even in
small doses, mindfulness can effect impressive changes in how we feel
and think — and it does so at a basic neural level.
In 2011, researchers from the University of Wisconsin demonstrated that
daily meditation-like thought could shift frontal brain activity toward a
pattern that is associated with what cognitive scientists call
positive, approach-oriented emotional states — states that make us more
likely to engage the world rather than to withdraw from it.
Participants were instructed to relax with their eyes closed, focus on
their breathing, and acknowledge and release any random thoughts that
might arise. Then they had the option of receiving nine 30-minute
meditation training sessions over the next five weeks. When they were
tested a second time, their neural activation patterns had undergone a
striking leftward shift in frontal asymmetry — even when their practice
and training averaged only 5 to 16 minutes a day.
As little as five minutes a day of intense Holmes-like inactivity, and a
happier outlook is yours for the taking — though this particular
benefit seems to have been lost on Holmes himself, what with his bouts
of melancholy and his flirtations with a certain 7 percent solution. A
quick survey will show that the paradox is illusory: Holmes is depressed
when there is no target for his mental faculties. Give him a project,
and balance is restored.
But mindfulness goes beyond improving emotion regulation. An exercise in
mindfulness can also help with that plague of modern existence:
multitasking.
And it doesn't end there. Mindfulness training benefits are also physical. Plus, it's free for a little invested time each day.
I find that when I sit on the cushion I come away a better version of myself - even if only for a time. Like anything else worth having, mindfulness training takes practice. It also helps me understand that when something does not work out right away it will - in a different way - another time. And I can hold on for that revelation.
